Thanksgiving Contemplation

As you take time over the next few days and weeks to enjoy your family and friends, please remember that the holidays are not joyous times for many in our community. There are people - perhaps yourself, your friends, neighbors, co-workers, or members of your congregation - that are struggling. Bereavement, financial woes, health concerns, and relationship issues are some of the things that can conspire to rob us of our joy at this (or any) time of the year.

An attitude of gratitude doesn't just happen. When we are intentional in developing it, an amazing thing happens. Joy returns to our lives. When we take the time to reach out and help others - whether it's with our time, talents or money - our own lives are enriched.

I am truly thankful for the opportunity to help victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and child abuse through CourtWatch. And I am thankful for those of you who have supported our efforts with your time, expertise, and financial support.

I received this email from a victim of domestic violence who had a hearing this week after I told her CourtWatch would be attending:

Thank you so much, you know very well what your support means to me. Please help me to pray for the best.

Yesterday I stopped by Harbor House's office before leaving the courthouse to go about the many errands that needed to be done in order to prepare for our family's Thanksgivinig feast. As I was wishing the staff and volunteers a Happy Thanksgiving, I noticed a solitary woman, perhaps 40 years old, sitting quietly alone in the waiting room. One eye was swollen shut from an obvious beating she had recently received.

I assume she was waiting to find out if the judge was going to grant her request for a hearing and provide a temporary injunction.

As I walked to my car, thinking of her plight, I wished I had thought to invite her to our family's dinner. For the umpteenth time, I realized that I could have very easily been sitting where she was. And I thought about how much harder it is to leave a relationship during the holidays.

I'm told that victims often don't seek shelter in the days immediately preceding a holiday like Thanksgiving or Christmas. The desire to keep one's family intact is strong. Yet Harbor House's waiting room told a different tale.

It reinforced for me how valuable our program, as well as other advocacy organizations that serve victims of family violence, are to the community.

I encourage everyone to invest in the work that CourtWatch does so that we can continue to be a reassuring presence in the courtroom for victims. If everyone on our mailing list donated just $25, we would be able to fund a part-time volunteer coordinator for one year.

There's much about which we can be thankful. Please take the next few minutes to view this video of a song by Josh Groban and decide how you can be the change in your own circle of influence.

Coaching boys into inmates

by Carol Wick, CEO
Harbor House of Central Florida

By now, many of you have probably read Mike Bianchi’s column that was in the Sentinel yesterday. That same article was noted by Jeff Schultz, a columnist from the Atlanta Journal Constitution yesterday. But what I find very interesting to the work we do here in Central Florida is not what the reporters wrote but the comments that follow the articles.

ALL of the reporters I know state that they never read the comments and I can understand why. I do. What is really fascinating in this case is the difference between the comments from readers in Atlanta, GA and those in Central Florida. It really helps shine a spotlight on why we have such a high instance of DV here, even more than in Atlanta.

The comments from Orlando are mainly filled with hate, victim blaming, and talk about how women are really the batterers and men are victims. In contrast, the AJC comments are almost wholly supportive of condemning the behavior and the arguments really focus on what they would want if it was their daughter and why coaches are pressured to make decisions to keep players. Many had gone to the Sentinel, listened to the 911 call, learned more about what happened and countered those who had the facts wrong. For the most part, it was a good discourse on why many athletes are allowed to get away with poor and even criminal behavior.

For my part, it left me wanting to answer some of the more outrageous claims that I hear repeated after every DV story, whether it is this one or even a homicide. Here are my responses to the top four issues raised by Central Florida readers.

1. “But he has never been in trouble with the police before”
Most batterers are not brought to the attention of the police until something very serious happens. The man who killed his wife at Publix had never been arrested, neither at several other alleged murderers this past year.

2. “Harbor House won’t even help a man if he is a victim. What about all the men who get victimized by women?”
Harbor House does provide services to men. In fact last year nearly 10% of the adult clients we served were men. We house them in emergency shelter and two are currently living in our community based housing program. 90% of adult victims are female so it is not an excuse for men who batter.

3. “Women commit most domestic violence or at least it’s 50/50”.
Most domestic violence is committed by men. Women are frequently arrested for causing wounds that were purely defensive in nature. This is one reason we don’t want a 100% conviction rate, too many victims get caught in the system. If you only look at arrests, it can be confusing. You only have to look at the homicides by gender comparison to understand that this is predominately an issue that injures and kills women.

4. “All Chris Rainey did was send a text message – he’s a kid – it was nothing big”
Chris Rainey was arrested for Felony Stalking which is a precursor to many homicides. His arrest involved much more than just a simple text message as you can hear in the 911 call below, including a comment to police to the effect of “just wait to see what happens when you leave.” Andrew Allred, the convicted murderer of Tiffany Barwick and Michael Ruschak sent all his threats via text and social networking pages. It is not something that can be ignored.

Listen to the 911 call here.

As Mike and I both pointed out. This is not an issue about one particular coach or one team; this is a societal issue that is all too clearly being played out right here in our own community.


Carol Wick, LMFT
CEO

PO Box 680748
Orlando FL 32868

Ph: 407-886-2244 EXT 227 / Fax: 407-886-0006
cwick@harborhousefl.com


To learn more about the Coaching Boys Into Men program violence prevention program, click here. Male volunteers are needed to serve as mentors.

______________________________________________________

Finally, let's not forget this recent high school incident where another coach minimized the behavior of his players:

Mom says Dr. Phillips teammates beat son

Orlando Sentinel, The (FL) - Thursday, September 9, 2010
Author: Susan Jacobson, Orlando Sentinel

Rena Denson was aghast when her 15-year-old son, Darrion, told her that his teammates on the Dr. Phillips High School football team had beaten him up.

Denson drove onto the practice field Tuesday, complained to the principal and called Orlando police, a report shows.

Darrion was treated at Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children for a concussion, bruises and scrapes, his mother said. He was punched and choked, had chairs thrown at him, was tossed into a trash can and his wallet containing $30 was taken, she said. The reason, according to a police report: Darrion -- a freshman -- had entered the varsity locker room.

A senior who he told his mother was among the attackers weighs 260 pounds and stands 6-foot-4, Denson said. Her son weighs 167 pounds and is 5-foot-11.

According to Denson, Coach Dale Salapa told her the boys got "out of hand" and "carried away." He also said it's customary for freshmen to enter the locker room through the back door only, she said.

"Well, Coach Salapa, this is not slavery," an incensed Denson told the Orlando Sentinel Wednesday. "No longer [should] I as an African-American or my son not be granted access through a front door."

Salapa said he is not permitted to discuss the incident. Principal Gene Trochinski did not return messages. A district spokeswoman, Shari Bobinski, said officials are working with the police and discipline, if any, will be meted out after officers finish their investigation.

One of Darrion's brothers, Martin Denson, arrived afterward. He said Darrion's glasses and a chain around his neck were broken during the scuffle. He said his brother was on the honor roll.

"His record is spotless," said Martin, 17.

The family moved to Orlando two years ago from Brooklyn, N.Y., for a fresh start. Now, Denson and her husband plan to send Darrion to a private school.

Central Florida Agencies Take a Stand Against Animal Cruelty

Successful “Cruelty Hurts” Campaign Achieves Major Results by Second Year

ORLANDO, Fla.—April 1, 2010—Today marks the start of Prevention of Animal Cruelty Month, as well as the second anniversary of Orange County Animal Services’ “Cruelty Hurts” campaign aimed at educating Orange County citizens about animal cruelty and its link to human violence. Since kicking off last year in partnership with Crimeline of Central Florida, the campaign has integrated new partners into a community-wide approach to prevent and prosecute animal crimes.

CourtWatch Florida has recently signed on to track and publicize felony animal cruelty cases in Orange County through its WatchList blog and “Weekly WatchList” e-newsletter.

“We couldn’t be more pleased with the response, both from partners and from the public to stand up for innocent animals that are subjected to unconscionable cruelty,” said Katherine Lockett, Division Manager of Animal Services. “Studies show animal abusers are five times more likely to commit violent crimes against people, so we are proud to be leading this effort to keep our community safe.”

Since partnering one year ago, Crimeline and Orange County Animal Services have achieved remarkable results. With 97 tips to date, the relationship has yielded multiple confiscations of severely neglected animals, a multi-county cockfighting investigation and a felony arrest for animal cruelty that paid a $600 reward.

“Now that people can report these types of crimes completely anonymously by calling 800-423-TIPS, and potentially receive a cash reward for doing the right thing, we’ve seen a tenfold increase in the number of anonymous tips,” said Barbara Bergin, Executive Director of Crimeline. “Animals lives were saved by people who cared enough to call, and that’s exactly what we set out to do.”

Animal Services and Harbor House of Central Florida joined together in 2009. Focused on “The Link,”—a term trademarked by American Humane, which illustrates the relationship between animal cruelty, child abuse, domestic violence and elder abuse—the organizations are working to increase awareness about The Link, create the first Pets and Women’s Shelters (PAWS) Program in Central Florida and provide first-responder transport to animal victims of domestic violence.

“We’re thrilled about creating an innovative program for animal victims of domestic violence in Orange County, and we’re confident our partnership with Animal Services will save lives and keep families together,” said Carol Wick, Chief Executive Officer of Harbor House.

Beginning in April 2010, Animal Services partnered with CourtWatch Florida to track and publicize felony animal cruelty cases in Orange County. The non-profit organization, which currently monitors domestic violence, sexual assault and child abuse hearings, was a natural fit because of The Link between animal cruelty and other domestic crimes.

“It is time perpetrators of animal cruelty are treated like the criminals they are by the courts, and we’re glad to be a part of the process to ensure that happens,” said Laura Williams, Executive Director of CourtWatch.


In addition, Animal Services has been working with local law enforcement to foster collaboration, much like its positive relationship with the Orange County Sheriff’s Office whereby the agencies cooperatively handle the civil and criminal aspects of investigations. Its trainings with Orlando Police Department and Ocoee Police Department have proved successful. Following Animal Services’ training with Ocoee Police Department, the agency made two significant felony animal cruelty arrests.

Animal Services also recently completed Continuing Legal Education (CLE) training for the State Attorney’s Office.

“Last year, we conducted 3,486 investigations of animal cruelty, neglect and abandonment,” said Lockett. “Our efforts are working towards getting these crimes reported, getting animals to safety, and ensuring criminals are brought to justice. That keeps our entire community safer.”

For more information about the campaign, click here.


About Orange County Animal Services
Orange County Animal Services is Central Florida’s largest pet rescue and adoption centers. Last year alone, Animal Services received nearly 24,000 animals at its shelter. For 40 years, the agency’s mission has been to protect pets and people in Orange County through courteous enforcement of the Orange County Code. Its vision is to give abandoned and neglected pets a second chance to live long, healthy lives in safe, loving homes. For more about Orange County Animal Services, visit their website.


About Crimeline
Central Florida Crimeline is an anonymous tip line answered 24 hours a day by live operators. All tipsters are kept completely anonymous. Crimeline does not trap, trace, record or have caller ID. If a tip leads to solving a felony case, the tipster may be eligible for a cash reward of up to $1,000. Crimeline accepts anonymous tips at 800-423-8477 and via their website.

About Harbor House
Harbor House provides safe shelter, a 24-hour crisis hotline, counseling, emotional support and legal advocacy for thousands of domestic violence survivors and their children each year. Harbor House also prepares survivors for re-entry into the community—connecting them to resources that will enable them to live independently, safely and peacefully. Harbor House is Orange County's only state-certified domestic violence facility. Its 24-Hour Crisis Hotline is (407) 886-2856 (TDD) or (800) 500-1119 (FL). For more information, visit their website.

About CourtWatch Florida
CourtWatch Florida began as a subcommittee of the Orange County Domestic Violence Task Force and was incorporated in 2007. CourtWatch monitors domestic violence, sexual assault and child abuse cases to make sure the system holds perpetrators accountable and doesn't re-victimize the victims. CourtWatch is a member of the National Association of Court Monitoring Programs. Its first training class was held in April 2007, and it has now trained over 150 volunteers as CourtWatchers and monitored in excess of 7,000 hearings. For more information, or to register for weekly emails to stay apprised of cruelty cases, visit our website.

Domestic Violence Related Fatalities in Our Community

Orange and Seminole Counties have seen a decline in the overall number of victim fatalities since 2007, but domestic violence related suicides have grown. Seminole's 7 fatalities have already surpassed last year's total of 4, while Orange shows a significant decline (25 deaths in 2008 vs. 12 deaths YTD 2009).

What has not declined, however, is the number of suicides (10 thus far) committed by perpetrators. I would contend that when an abuser has decided to take their own life, they become incredibly lethal to those near them. After all, once you've decided you have nothing to live for, it's a (relatively) easy leap to kill anyone you believe is the cause of your unhappiness.  Or to kill one's children in an effort to keep them away from the other parent (as was the case with my daughter, Sarah). Safety planning is a crucial component to protecting yourself and your children if you are a victim of domestic/dating violence. It is also important if you are attempting to assist a friend or loved one who is a victim.

There have been 19 victims of domestic violence and child abuse in Orange and Seminole this year. It is said that a picture (or maybe a chart) is worth a thousand words. In the interest of making my point, here is a link to the stats that CourtWatch has gathered since 2007.

To help commemorate the lives lost to domestic violence in our community, and to celebrate successes achieved, the Orange County Domestic Violence Task Force will be sponsoring a Walk to "Break the Silence" at Lake Eola on Saturday, October 10th.  Registration begins at 7:30am and a brief program will precede the walk which is scheduled to commence at 9:00am. T-Shirts will be available for sale at $15 each, but you may walk for free. To reserve your T-Shirt, contact Lacy Kemp at lkemp@sao9.org

For a comprehensive list of Orange County DV related events this October, please visit Harbor House's calendar online. 

Additionally, Safehouse of Seminole is sponsoring Purple Light Nights to increase awareness of domestic violence.

"Lie to Me"

Stunned and speechless. That's how I felt when Catherine Burke told WESH Reporter Dave McDaniel that victims of domestic violence should keep their abuse a secret. CourtWatch commends WESH for seeking comments from Carol Wick of Harbor House in order to balance the dangerous message that Mrs. Burke expressed. Because it is only when domestic violence is brought to light that abusers and victims can get the help they need to break the cycle of abuse. Far too many victims fail to seek help with law enforcement and the courts because they fear they will not be protected from their abuser. Judge Marlene Alva is, in our opinion, doing a superb job of making Mrs. Burke's safety a priority. But this case highlights the not uncommon situation that prosecutors of domestic violence face daily - that of a recanting victim.

If you've ever watched "Lie to Me" on Fox, you'll be familiar with the practice of deception detection by comparing our microfacial expressions and body language with what we actually say. Susan Constantine is a body language expert here in Central Florida. I asked her to review the Burke interviews.

Regarding Catherine's interview on WESH, Ms. Constantine provided the following assessment:

• Mrs. Burke shows sadness in all regions of the face. The forehead shows distress, her eyebrow angles up in the inner corners, and down on the sides. The mouth's outer corners are slightly turned down in sadness. It is my opinion she is dealing with sadness and anxiety. Anxiety is shown in the shifting of the eyes back and forth from side to side, rapidly. She is vulnerable, lonely, and insecure. What I don't see is anger. She warns women "not to" report domestic violence because the system is prohibiting her from having contact with her husband. She does not show anger with the system or the judge. If she were angry, her voice, and facial expressions would have been presented "as anger" (horizontal tight lips and eyelids would have narrowed with lower lid tightened). Therefore, her words and body language were incongruent. She is a target for repeat violence because she does not see what Shannon did as domestic violence.  [emphasis mine]  The battered wife syndrome causes one to soften the blow with soft words and voice to ward off the intruder (being the press) and, at the same time, she is manipulating the public opinion with her soft tone to protect her husband.
  
• She says she was not abused, then leans forward with an affirmative while nodding her head yes. This is an emblem. An emblem is a body movement gesture that has a universal meaning in the US. When she says she was not abused, she nods her head yes when it should have shook no. She was not confident that she convinced the reporter because she leans in to convince the reporter with an affirmative indicating she was not fearful.
  
• She stated "IF (meaning she was) I was abused, and I was not, but IF (meaning she was) I was" (at this time the corners of mouth went down in sadness). She does not believe her own story.

Here's FOX's version of Catherine's interview.

Regarding Shannon's FOX35 interview with Amy Kaufeldt:

• His 3 corner leg stance is one of confidence. His left arm is stretched over the sofa in the direction of the reporter (this is a non-verbal hug of wanting approval). His body language betrays him with his right hand. He leaves his right hand placed near his groin, and is not visibly out front in an open body posture. The right hand is hidden as if he got his hand caught in the cookie jar (a "hiding something back" gesture).
  
• Shannon shoulder shrugs often. This is an emblem too. If he shrugged at the same time as saying "I don't know" this would have been believable although, he shrugs when his words are not consistent with his words "deceptive." He has a lot of anxiety.
  
• The most telling is when he was asked if he was dangerous. He answers a question with a question. "Have you ever known me to be dangerous?" This is a rhetorical devise of "deception." He should have said "no."  He does not take ownership for his actions [emphasis mine] and uses another rhetorical device called "petty fogging" when he says this. One side corner of his mouth goes unilateral.  This is "contempt" (moral superiority and duping delight gesture - this happens when he thinks he has pulled one over on you). The facial gesture appears and then he used a "petty fogging" rhetorical device again by diverting the audience away from the issues at hand to present himself in a positive light when shifting to telling the audience he fixed a clock at the park with his child.
  
• In my opinion, the judge made a good decision to keep them separated until they go through more counseling.

Susan, I second that opinion.

Domestic Violence & Animal Abuse in Orange County

The Orange County Domestic Violence Task Force (OCDVTF) meets each month at the courthouse to exchange ideas, network with member agencies, and discuss ways to address the issue of DV in our community.

At today's meeting, a fascinating presentation by Orange Co Animal Services (OCAS) was on the agenda. The Shannon Burke case in Seminole County has spotlighted the correlation between DV and animal abuse in a dramatic fashion. But prior to the Burke shooting incident, Harbor House and OCAS were working on a collaborative effort to train Animal Services' officers to look for signs of DV when investigating cruelty, neglect and abandonment cases. I was astounded to learn that:

• Up to 75% of domestic violence victims report that their partners threatened or killed family pets
• 48% of victims delay leaving an abusive home because they do not have a safe place for their pets
• One million animals per year are abused or killed in connection with domestic violence nationally
• 32% of pet-owning victims of DV reported that their child had hurt or killed a pet (this statistic demonstrates with chilling vividness how DV is a learned behavior)
• Animal abusers are 5 times more likely to commit violent crimes against people
• Animal abusers are 4 times more likely to commit property crimes
• 70% of animal abusers had records for other crimes

There were 4,106 animal cruelty, neglect and abandonment investigations in Orange County last year. This year's trend is showing a 15% increase over last year. OCAS began partnering with Crimeline earlier this year, resulting in abuse & neglect reports tripling in the first month of the partnership.

Orange County Animal Services and Harbor House are working to build an animal shelter on-site at Harbor House. The goal is to remove the barrier for victims who remain in an abusive situation because they know their abuser will harm their pet. OCAS is also working on a program to provide transportation for animals when victims seek shelter at Harbor House for themselves and their children - something that no other organization in the country provides. To support this worthwhile endeavor, please contact Harbor House.

Investigation of animal abuse is often the first point of social services intervention for a family in trouble. Statistically, 80% of homes with abused pets also had investigations by child welfare agencies due to reports of physical abuse and neglect. It is therefore crucial for all of us to report suspected animal abuse and neglect.